Friday, November 27, 2020

Fear is the Mind Killer: Overcoming Overthinking and Embracing Asana

Meditation has been a theme for a couple of weeks now; and it will definitely continue next week when I reflect on our recent in-class meditation session that was instructed by Stockton University professor Marcello Spinella, who specializes in neuropsychology and the workings of the brain. This week, however, I will be talking about the impact of meditation as integrated into a physical practice.

 

Taught on Gaia by Colleen Saidman Yee and entitled “Step Forward with Confidence,” the 59 minute and 15 second practice I partook in this week focused on developing confidence in both mind and spirit through simple, straightforward techniques.

 

Primarily defining the practice as Hatha Yoga, Yee started out by advising her students to relax while sitting on their knees, buttocks placed firmly against their feet. Closing my eyes, I listened peacefully for a moment and began meditating, becoming calm and refocusing on the singular image appearing in my mind (a metallic ball the size of a penny). This was very effective, as I listened to Yee instruct me to not “judge your ability to ‘meditate’ or ‘not meditate’; just be — be who you are right now. Show up with what you have to offer right now.” Her words were focused on both pushing your comfort level and accepting who you are at this moment without crippling yourself with judgement, which as a perfectionist I oftentimes find myself doing.

 

It was a little too effective however, because at one point the screen froze and I did not notice as I was preoccupied with meditating with my eyes closed, having assumed that Yee was offering a few minutes of silence before launching into the asanas. This caused me to laugh and set the tone for the rest of the practice, which was subsequently very relaxing.

 

For the purpose of condensing, I am going to focus strictly on a few asanas that were particularly calming and conclude with my mental state both during these asanas and at the conclusion of the practice.

 

One of my favorite aspects of Yee’s style is that she incorporates straps and blocks into her routine. Personally, straps are one of my favorite accessories as they allow me to push the boundaries of my own flexibility and test out asanas that I normally would not feel capable of completing. Lying down on my mat, I lifted my left foot up into my strap and moved the strap itself into my right hand. Grasping it firmly, I guided it close to the floor, pushing my left leg towards the right. Simultaneously, I made a fist with my left hand and “lovingly,” as Yee puts it, tapped up and down my upper right thigh. The stretch of my pelvic and leg muscles was magical, as the asana relieved a great deal of tension that had built up from stress, and in some cases, sitting down for work and class too often.

 

Likewise, the asana that followed Happy Baby also allowed me to stretch my legs all the way down, into my foot. Placing my knees inward towards my armpits, I rocked from side to side and then, leaving my right knee cradled inside my chest, put my left arm back on the ground and my left leg down. My left leg hovered about 6 inches off the ground, and I focused on breathing in and out, enjoying the war between my right foot, which wanted to fly towards the sky, and my left foot which simply wanted to be grounded. I was in limbo physically, but mentally I was elated, on a similar rush as the one I get when I go on Nitro at Six Flags Great Adventure. There is something unique about being so in tune with a singular moment that my mind becomes fixated on individual body parts, whether it be my finger as I fly down a 215 foot drop, or my toe as it hovers 6 inches off the ground.

 

That grounding and focus on what needs to be done versus what you think you should be doing is important in yoga in general, and was a concept that Yee reinforced throughout our practice.


“Nobody is going to judge you for falling out of Tree Pose,” Yee quipped while doing the asana, making a point to showcase her wobbly nature and show that it was a natural response from the body while balancing. Similarly, meditation holds the same weight in that one should not judge oneself for “meditating wrong.” Who is going to judge you for not keeping your mind completely clear, when the goal of meditation is ultimately to focus and be in the moment? Even if someone does judge, it should not be a major concern; and one definitely SHOULD NOT be judging oneself!

 

These reminders ran through my mind as I focused on my breathing, steadily inhaling and exhaling, being one with my thoughts.

 

From here, we move into Warrior III; turning my feet parallel, with my hands centered at my heart, I turned to face the front of my mat. Placing my right foot in front and my left foot in the rear, I hopped and became buoyant, moving freely back and forth with the air of a person without a care in the world. Then, I moved into plank and held there for fifteen or so seconds before guiding myself into Cat-Cow Pose. Inhaling into the back bend, I took a minute and appreciated the moment. Subsequently, I exhaled into the hunch. Doing these three times, I moved from the last exhale into Downward-Facing Dog.

 

This is where things got really fun! From Downward-Facing Dog I lifted my right leg into the air, then stepped my right foot forward. Moving again, I repeated the process on the left side before thrusting my entire lower body into the air, getting both legs and feet off the ground. Unlike Yee, who went as far as to be moments away from a headstand position, I could only throw my legs off the ground simultaneously a foot or so into the air. Still, I enjoyed the process and it showed me that I am capable of more than I know, and that with practice, I too may one day get to where Yee is now.

 

The final asana I would like to comment on is Janu Sirsasana. Following a circuit, I sat on my mat and bent my right knee, attaching it firmly towards the right side of my buttocks. Then, lowering down and sticking out my left leg, I walked forward with the tips of my fingers and grasped my left foot with both hands. Breathing deeply, I lifted my elbows and allowed my shoulder blades to be flat as I rounded my back, keeping myself grounded but soft.

 

This practice encouraged me to be present mentally and physically; it was one of the first times throughout the semester that I felt truly present in both aspects. Certain asanas allowed time for introspective thought, which I appreciated — for in that thought I found an ability to re-center myself and focus, believing in my abilities without ignoring my limits. Meditation and the focus it embraces— the constant act of the mind wandering only to be brought back to its focal point— is helpful in many ways. It improves the overall nature of focus, yes; but also, the physicality of movement, the release of tension, and the ability to gain the most out of current action.

 

That said, as my practice for this class begins to wind to an end, I look forward to seeing how the last few sessions impact my views on yoga, and where this journey will ultimately lead me.

 

Until the Next Reflection,

Moujnir


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